This is not a flattering shot, but it is, indubitably, me. As I am. The years have piled on recently. Over the past few since the back injury, and letting my hair be what it is. From a woman who didn't look forty,(or so) to one who looks her age, and a bit, in so short a time, this is hard. But it's true, so it is. I went from fine, to thinking I'd breathed my last, to being unutterably grateful to be still alive, to having a life more painful, further along, than before. Mixed blessings, fate, inevitability, all in one waxy gob. Here I am. This is it. Apex of ability and keenness passed, and so it goes.
But, I love and am loved. By a thoroughly decent human being, who is incapable of malice. A man of eternal integrity who has never passed a contemptuous thought about me. Not that bad, all in all. Pretty good, actually. Fucking amazing, really.
Let my roots go down further, catch more of the subtleties, may compassion bloom. How deep can I go.
Labels: Self portrait